Props to my 6 year old self for calling out bullshit at an early age.
YOU CAN GO ON TUMBLR BUT NOT TEXT ME BACK? I AM CALLING YOU OUT, JASMINE. Lol :)
We’ve been friends for about eight years or so now. We started talking because he was dating this girl I used to be friends with. I don’t exactly recall how we started talking, but we did. They eventually broke up, but I still remained friends with him.
Over the years, we grew closer. We told each other everything. Anything you could think of, we told each other. He knows my deepest secrets and I know his.
A few years ago, he started dating this girl. She turned out to be a total nightmare. There were trust issues among many things. They had finally broken up, but she was still in the picture since they live together.
We tried to give a relationship a chance, but it just didn’t work out. We were just better off as friends. I mean, I was okay with it. There were, and still are occasionally, times where I want nothing more in the world than to just lay with him. Just to be with him. Nothing sexual, but to just feel him.
The last couple months have not been easy for us at all. We stopped talking for a long time. I would get angry, he’d apologize, things would be okay for a day or two, then he’d go back to giving me the silent treatment. It was an endless cycle, it felt like.
The other night, he explained part of the reason he had been acting the way he did, which made me super angry. If any of you knew the reason, you would have been angry too, believe me. I mean, I sent him a “fuck you, don’t ever text me again” text. This was the same guy who I shared stories of my life with.
He called me after I sent it and we talked for a little bit. He knew apologizing had no meaning to me anymore. I told him I couldn’t just throw away eight years of my life though. I just needed time to think. So, I did. We’ve texted a little bit each day for about 4 or 5 days now. It’s not like how it used to be. He asked me why it couldn’t be how it was before and I told him it’s just too hard. He knew he messed up big time.
He told me during the time we weren’t speaking, he was going through a midlife crisis basically at the age of 21. The first and only thing I could think of was “One Tree Hill”.
You’re probably asking, “Why ‘One Tree Hill’?” In the school shooting episode, “With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept”, when Keith is trying to talk Jimmy into putting the gun down, Keith says to Jimmy, “That pain in your stomach, that pain in your heart, it goes away. That voice in your head thats saying there’s no way out, it’s wrong Jimmy. Would you please, please just believe me. It gets better.”
I said similar words to my old friend and all he could say was, “Thank you.”
I think that’s what he needed to hear. I think hearing that the pain will go away, it made him feel a little better. Maybe not permanently, but for the moment, it did.
I really want to go back to how our friendship was before, but it feels different now. The jokes that used to make us laugh now make me feel sad, because it reminds me of the past. People are saying I should forgive, but not forget. I keep trying so hard to forgive him, but think I remember why our friendship started to fall apart in the first place and then it makes me not want to forgive him.
I don’t know the answer right now, and that’s okay. I just hope soon I can figure it out.
if I offered you $20, would you take it?
How about if I crumpled it up?
Stepped on it?
you would probably take it even though it was crumpled and stepped on it. Do you know why?
Because it is still $20, and its worth has not changed.
The same goes for you; if you have a bad day, or if something bad happens to you, you are not worthless.
if someone crumples you up or steps on you, your worth does not change. You are still just as valuable as you were before.
This is honestly the best poster I have found in a while supporting breast cancer awareness. I am honestly so sick of seeing, “set the tatas free” and “save the boobies”. There is no reason in hell a life threatening, life ruining disease should be sexualized. “Don’t wear a bra day,” go fuck yourselves. You’re not saving a pair of tits, you’re saving the entire package: mind, body, and soul included. Women are not just a pair of breasts.